saturday february 27th

ok today i made these stupid snack-y things. and ate it literally minutes before going swimming. SMRT!!!!


cucumber, feta and cherry tomato, rolled in some lemon juice and oregano. oh, and a lonely olive+piece of feta. dedicated to cailin.


nachos: the athlete's choice!!

(with...a lot of shit....corn, jalapenos, olives, green onion, old cheddar and parmesan, 'southwest salsa'..etc)

oh yeah, today i shocked the world and joined a gym. to swim laps. i will only ever use the pool, not sweaty gym stuff. ew. the whole process, from buying a stupid actually-for-swimming-suit to signing up for the membership to CHANGE ROOM ETIQUETTE was fucking hilarious and terrifying.
hilights:
-locking myself out of the change room while trying on bathing suits.
-the shower room (is that what it's called?) has an open shower area and private 'stalls'..i automatically went in a private one, keeping my bathing suit on. i come out and there's a woman, naked, using the open ones. wtf? she remained naked, walking around the change room until i bolted out of there.
- as im leaving shower area, i notice the sign that says something like 'you must dry off completely before exiting'. i dont have a towel with me, obv. i run around the change room trying to find my locker as quickly as possible and then wipe up the water i dripped. super sanitary good idea erin!
- hmmm i know there was other stuff that made me laugh out loud (and appear even more crazy and out of place)...maybs it'll come to me later! i might have shell shock or something right now. does that make any sense?
-**edit!** when i was taking my bathing suit off i realized i had left the gross paper-y pad-type thing in the crotch. WICKED!
i dont think i picked up my feet once the whole way home. my body is dead. swimming sucks.

something i made this week?

this week was a write off. can we try again next week?



blurry gross weirdo soup with a poached egg in it!



oh look! store-bought perogies with stuff on them!!

i cut my finger when a glass broke and didnt realize i was majorly cutting off circulation until i looked at it. looked worse in person!



these icicles are my friends.



oh hi!

sunday february 21st

i just want to post this picture now so you have time to think about what you're seeing. will write about it later!!!!!!



also, this just came on shuffle. i have a lame soft spot for it.

ok lobster mashed potatoes, pan seared salmon with a 'cucumber sauce' (ew) some green beans DUH!



potatoes:
the meat of two shitty lobsters. (not fresh...why i used them in something rather then having them be the star! kill me).
cream cheese
green onion
fresh parsley
cream
butter
think that's it.

salmon:
season with salt and pepper.
heat oil and butter in a pan.
put it in.
sear to get a crispy outer layer.
finish it off in the oven.
i didnt over cook it! yay! well maybe the tiniest bit, but i was still happy with it.

cucumber thing:
sour cream
fresh dill
lemon juice
diced cucumber
s&p

....aaaand i just steamed the beans and tossed with butter and salt and pepper.

THEN BUILD A FOOD MOUNTAIN.

saturday february 13th

i often claim to NEVER USE RECIPES WOW LOOK AT ME IM SO SPECIAL..but i sometimes get 'ideas' or 'inspiration' from them. tonight i made chickpea tacos and i would say i was more than just inspired by the recipe in food and drink (winter issue, y'all).



shoulda taken more pictures. that could really be anything. haha.

i sauteed red onion, garlic, red pepper, jalapeno peppers, tomato, chickpeas obv, corn....think that's all...chili powder, cumin, oregano...shit dawg i forget what else!! **edit: chicken, duh! i had a chicken breast fermenting in my fridge so i threw that in. jk! about which part no one knows!!** topped with old white cheddar, salsa, sour cream and green onion!
black leo watched me.

friday february 19th

i ate all the pastry and felt fine! yaaaaaaaaaay! therefore, i had to get rid of the rest of the store-bought stuff (make someone else eat it.)



i just cut up an apple, mixed the slices in a bowl with a bit of flour, icing sugar, lemon juice, freshly grated nutmeg and cinnamon.



big woop.

thursday february 18th

so i spent the whole day fighting an alien lovechild made of buttery pastry and HATE from bursting from my bowels. i think the common thread w/my "indigestion" has been the stupid store-bought pastry, and not necessarily the dairy. therefore, tonight i decided to make my own puff pastry...thinking there might be some weird chemical in frozen shit? or it could be the flour? am i a celiac? will i be that annoying/soulless person who has to eat gluten free? is this all TMI?

anyway, i never use recipes, but since im no baker/pastry-er? i thought it best to at least roughly follow one!



MAKING PASTRY IS FUN!!!!! and easy! the feeling of squishing the butter into the flour is A-MAZING! i am getting pervy!



im sure there's tons of room for improvement, but basically, it turned out just fine! i was very happy. and surprised. im really really not into baking/desserts/following recipes. i already said that.

since i made 25 gallons of chili, i just put some of my pastry on top of it again. delicious!



i guess we'll see how i feel tomorrow....but right now i want to say i will never buy puff pastry again...the recipe i used was so quick and easy and it actually turned out pretty great.

THE END. GOODNIGHT TO ALL OF THE CHILDREN.

wednesday february 17th

i made chili. whenever i make chili-ish things i use garam masala and cinnamon. that is a hugely sought-after secret. NO IT'S NOT!!



i cleaned out my freezer today and found some roasted tomatoes i had made in the summer. was pretty stoked to throw those suckers into the pot!!!



i also put in: green peppers, jalapeno peppers, mushrooms, onion, green onion, red kidney beans, both ground pork and beef (i think...coulda been moose), crushed tomatoes, a bit of brown sugar, chili powder, garlic, oregano...think that's it.



it got really real when i put the chili into ancient 1970s french onion soup bowls (after simmering for 1000 hours) and covered it with some pastry...topped with butter, parsley, garlic, old cheddar and some diced roasted tomatoes.




thank you, erin. you're welcome, erin.

tuesday february 16th

today im falling back on the shady metaphoric one thing i 'made' today...because...i ate plain chips with vinegar (warmed in the microwave) for dinner. (which should not be made fun of until tried!!! thanks mom for being such an amazing cook/mother!).

BUT TODAY I DID LAUNDRY AND THEN MADE THE BED. with a cat in it.



black leo is pretty. and annoying. loud. has long, angry claws. is a cat. GOOD AT MEOWING.



i think i might change his name to lawrence. ok i just looked at him and said 'lawrence' and burst out laughing. i think it's a go!

monday february 15th

prepare to be shocked........I MADE A POACHED EGG.



this little guy had some sausage from the previous night sliced and tucked underneath though! goodnight sausage slices! have a nice sleep in your fluffy warm EGGBED.



oh wait, jk! no sleep for you because you are being eaten! the only place you will be sleeping now is HELL. because you are dead. and ..make me stop.

sunday february 14th

HAPPY VD I MADE PANCAKES AND SAUSAGES WITH SOME APPLE AND LEEK WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!




i shredded apple into the pancakes...oh and they were BUTTERMILK! which was my first time doing THAT. they tasted like they had sour cream in them. which i guess they kind of did? i dont know. i dont know what buttermilk is. i do know i will never make a pancake without you, mysterious dairy liquid.

saturday february 13th

i had no clue what to make today. i asked for suggestions and only got 'rosemary' as an answer. therefore:




i was roasting garlic for the rosemary and white bean soup...couldnt resist eating some on a cracker! this sounds SO LAME. but roasted garlic is one of the best things so deal with it. i finally used the buttermilk. (in a dressing for the potato salad...also used grainy mustard, rosemary duh, fresh dill, white wine, celery, red onion...think that's it).



i wanted to flavour some oil to drizzle on the soup...pretty much only because i like how it looks. i just threw some garlic and rosemary into grapeseed oil for awhile.




the soup had onions, carrots, celery ("MIRE POIX" OR SOME SHIT), a ton of white beans, fresh rosemary and chicken stock. i garnished it with the oil and some shaved parmesan.



i guess this is the end of the entry where i get angry. to be honest, this is getting kind of exhausting BUT NO ONE LIKES A COMPLAINER.

friday february 12th

today i made a card.






sorry for blowing your minds so hard.

thursday february 11th

today i made something gross-looking for lunch:



cottage cheese with fresh thyme, green onion, peas, lemon juice and pepper.

I AM A FUCKING CULINARY GENIUS.

---------------------------------

i've been listening to nancy sinatra a lot lately. she is super badass.

wednesday february 10th

a cleansing classic 'hangover soup' was needed today, due to lactose-overload last night.

judge me...i made the soup from a lot of things already in bags/jars....eeeeeeeeeee. ew.



chicken stock, lime leaves, fresh ginger, "rooster sauce", lemongrass, uhhhhh frozen veggies, green onion, vermicelli, think that's it!




oh hay this is me looking sick and i am dying but also nursing myself back to health. ie: hot. deal with it.

tuesday february 9th

tonight i made something that confirmed for me i am lactose intolerant. this is like being told i am unable to birth children (if i was someone who really wanted to do that. get it? IT SUCKS).



my babies are blocks of smelly cheese shredded and whisked into a bechamel sauce. my mom taught me how to make that sauce. she's not a very good cook. but i loved her macaroni and cheese growing up and that sauce was always perfect. ok sidetracked. trynna keep this short.

IN SHORT, i made a cheese sauce and poured it over thinly sliced potatoes. i guess some ppl would call that 'scalloped potatoes'. welcome to the 1970s.

i also made a tart filled with mushrooms, leeks, green onions, smoked ham and tons of thyme. i kind of brought all that stuff together in a pan with chicken stock and FINE a bit of grated parmesan and OK ALSO some cream cheese.



i later went out to watch some dude jerk-off on a guitar. i barely lasted an hour. half an hour? my insides were trying to come out. is that a thing to say? i need neeeed to cut back on the dairy. ugh.



so delicious though.

EDIT: i was in pain pretty much the entire next day. sigh.

monday february 8th

i didnt make any food today.

after a consultation with a doctor-person, i made a decision to get braces put on again. THAT RULES.....and is something....i made.

sunday february 7th

when my dad visited, he brought me some wild turkey soup he'd made.




wild turkey rules. the soup was delicious. all the veggies were chopped up so huge though. FAIL. jk!

i was feeling a tad hung from my adventure at call the office with my brother, so i just had some of that AND A POACHED EGG THING. AN EGG. SURPRISE.




im putting a ban on eggs for the rest of the week...

saturday february 6th

my dad, stepmom and brother came to town to continue the 'celebration'. we went to budapest and it truly cannot be described/understood without having experienced it. honestly, who gives a fuck about the food, the place is insane. go there. if you happen to only eat meat and spaztle. i warned them all before going that the only vegetable they may see would be red cabbage (soaked in vinegar and spices of course), but we weren't lucky enough to have any! as my dad said, the (hungarian) food was "more german than german food". and he was right. my oma always had red cabbage...and boiled potatoes...to accompany the heaps of pork, venison, duck, rabbit, etc.





my cabbage rolls came with a fried sausage and spaztle?! everyone elses' came with spaztle. and covered in some kind of gravy. we had perogies and a veal blini to start blahblahblah. but right, the food doesnt matter. it's totally secondary. there are only two servers, a mom and daughter. the daughter is about 50 or 60. the mother is a huge flirt and constantly talks about sex. ('jiggy jiggy'). seriously. they had a guy playing keyboard and singing the most bizarre, random selection of songs. i think the only one i recognized was the girl from ipanema. (which i asked him to play two more times, the poor guy)..

ok, so my dad has this thing where he's always daring ppl to do things for money. ...and speaking of the poor keyboard player..his dares revolved around him. he dared christine to sit beside him at the keyboard and play along for a song. she did. (we had a couple bottles of wine with dinner).



i also accepted (maybe my first ever!) dare from him and danced with christine for a full song while the rest of the restaurant guests thought "wtf". it was worth the $50!



the rest of the night saw me babysitting my brother at call the office and vomiting in cabs and well, i dont have the energy to even go there.